This Could Be The Real Thing But Probably Not

There's this girl who works in the office at the day job, a very sweet girl actually, but she does this one thing that drives me absolutely bonkers.

She frequently snacks on edamame, but she eats them in the most ghastly possible way. Most people gently squeeze the sides of the pods as if they were damp, fuzzy coin purses, causing them to easily open, and then they gingerly pluck the glistening beans from within. This girl holds the end of the pod with her fingertips and then inserts the rest of it into her mouth where she begins to suck and gnaw and slurp on it, frequently removing it from her mouth to inspect her handiwork and gesture with it while speaking. I've only ever seen one person eat edamame like this before, and it was equally disgusting. I figured out that they most likely do it this way in a desperate attempt to savor every molecule of salt from the shell.

Also she says, "EdamaNE," with an "n." That's two things, I guess.

The other day she was standing next to me , waving one of her frayed soybean carcasses at me and I said to her, "You know, I can suggest an alternate method of eating edamaME that doesn't require quite so much sucking and gnawing..."

If you think that was harsh, I have this to say to you: Sir or Madam, this is the way in which I prefer to roll.