The Most Famous Pincushion

I had to perform jury duty last week, which was an interesting enough way to spend a day off work. Actually, it would have been pretty boring if I didn't have my iPod and a fresh LA Weekly. It was mostly just sitting around, but like I said, it was fine and actually kind of relaxing.

The most annoying thing about it by far was the attitude surrounding the whole thing, like this, "Ha, ha, we've got you now," attitude, as if all of us cowardly citizens have been trying our darndest to weasel our way out of Jury Duty. There was a smug guy talking to us over the P.A., who kept trying to enhance his power trip by saying things like, "People used to try all kinds of things to get out of Jury Duty, but we've changed our procedures to eliminate most of the excuses." He also kept saying patronizing, mocking, borderline bullying things like, "See now? This isn't so bad."

The reality is that the only real reason people wouldn't want to perform Jury Duty is if it would harm them financially. If your job pays you to perform Jury Duty, you don't mind doing it. Why would you?

I decided that the best way to get at the guy was to act deliriously happy. "I've got to get myself one of these chairs! This is by far the most comfortable chair ever!" "What is the temperature in here, anyway? This climate is perfect!" "Ooh! Oprah's on! You go, girlfriend!"