Alliteration is Still Cool

It's time again for another nasty note! But first, some background:

I've told you before about our icky neighbors that are, thankyoujesus, moving away. To summarize, we lived here for 2 years, then they moved in and, within the first week or so of their arrival, they called the police because our stereo was barely perceptible to them on a Friday at 10:00. Ever since then, they've done nothing but complain and be complete creeps to us.

Then, months later, we were planning a party on a Saturday, so we sent them a polite little note about it well in advance, which included my mobile number in case there were any real problems, which I knew there wouldn't be, but I was honestly just trying to placate them so they wouldn't call the police.

Then THEY sent US a note that:

• Cautioned us that we were breaking rules of the complex in which we live (including a direct quote).
  
• Warned us to give our, "Cooperation," after 11:00.
  
• Told us to bear in mind that one of them had to wake up at 6AM the next morning (Sunday).

So now, they're finally moving. I wanted to have a big party on their last night, but I wasn't sure exactly when that was. However, I found a note from them yesterday that said that they were going to have "contractors" moving their "household goods" tomorrow and the next day, and perhaps the next, and although they may be blocking our alley and/or garage they would move their vehicles to, "Accommodate our needs."

Nice, right? That's perfectly fine, isn't it? -Oh, but wait. They just had to throw in this sentence: "Any efforts to reduce the number of times they have to stop work would be greatly appreciated."

Oh, OK. So we should try to make "efforts" to help them by figuring out ways that we can limit our comings and goings in return for them complaining every time they heard a peep out of us for the past two years.

So here's my note to them because I'm completely tired of taking crap from icky people in general:

Dear Neighbors,

Thank you very much for your note, alerting us of your plans to have contractors' vehicles blocking our garage and the alleyway. As you probably know, parking in the alleyway is a direct violation of not only the rules of our complex, but local ordinances as well. This is made very clear on the numerous signs posted prominently throughout the alleyways. However flagrant this infringement might be, we have decided that we will probably overlook it.

Please be aware that our busy schedules may require us to make numerous trips in and out of our garage on any given day. We very much appreciate the fact that your contractors will stop work to move their vehicles to allow us access to and from our garage, and we certainly will not hesitate to ask them to do this as often as necessary.

Thank you so much,

The Neighbors