Alliteration is Still Cool

It's time again for another nasty note! But first, some background:

I've told you before about our icky neighbors that are, thankyoujesus, moving away. To summarize, we lived here for 2 years, then they moved in and, within the first week or so of their arrival, they called the police because our stereo was barely perceptible to them on a Friday at 10:00. Ever since then, they've done nothing but complain and be complete creeps to us.

Then, months later, we were planning a party on a Saturday, so we sent them a polite little note about it well in advance, which included my mobile number in case there were any real problems, which I knew there wouldn't be, but I was honestly just trying to placate them so they wouldn't call the police.

Then THEY sent US a note that:

• Cautioned us that we were breaking rules of the complex in which we live (including a direct quote).
  
• Warned us to give our, "Cooperation," after 11:00.
  
• Told us to bear in mind that one of them had to wake up at 6AM the next morning (Sunday).

So now, they're finally moving. I wanted to have a big party on their last night, but I wasn't sure exactly when that was. However, I found a note from them yesterday that said that they were going to have "contractors" moving their "household goods" tomorrow and the next day, and perhaps the next, and although they may be blocking our alley and/or garage they would move their vehicles to, "Accommodate our needs."

Nice, right? That's perfectly fine, isn't it? -Oh, but wait. They just had to throw in this sentence: "Any efforts to reduce the number of times they have to stop work would be greatly appreciated."

Oh, OK. So we should try to make "efforts" to help them by figuring out ways that we can limit our comings and goings in return for them complaining every time they heard a peep out of us for the past two years.

So here's my note to them because I'm completely tired of taking crap from icky people in general:

Dear Neighbors,

Thank you very much for your note, alerting us of your plans to have contractors' vehicles blocking our garage and the alleyway. As you probably know, parking in the alleyway is a direct violation of not only the rules of our complex, but local ordinances as well. This is made very clear on the numerous signs posted prominently throughout the alleyways. However flagrant this infringement might be, we have decided that we will probably overlook it.

Please be aware that our busy schedules may require us to make numerous trips in and out of our garage on any given day. We very much appreciate the fact that your contractors will stop work to move their vehicles to allow us access to and from our garage, and we certainly will not hesitate to ask them to do this as often as necessary.

Thank you so much,

The Neighbors

Contest Song - Part 2

Today, I will present to you part two of the little song that is the result of the contest I held here on the The Gold State Remarks page a number of months ago. This one contains fine lyrics that were submitted by Geritopia from the Bloggy Blog.

This is by no means the final installment of this thing. There are at least two more (count 'em) song parts that I'm going to record for this.

Incidentally, this whole thing was inspired by something very nice that that Geritopia did over at Bloggy Blog. You can read about it here on my old The Gold State Remarks page if you're so inclined. Thanks very much to everyone who submitted stuff, and I wish I could use it all, but it's not humanly possible. Remember, this isn't finished yet, so your stuff might make it into the next song part thing.

Part one of the song, "Easy Breezy Japanesey," can be heard by clicking HERE, but I warn you that it's much louder than part 2, and I'm sorry, but I just discovered this and I can't fix it right now because I have to go out. I'm warning you. You can read about that part here.

Please click HERE to listen to this part of the song, which is probably called "Queen of Tarts."

"Queen of Tarts"

There's a beehive
knocking at your door
and the Queen of Tarts
wants to borrow a whore

Pins and needles
an anthill of sin
the mole inside
drinks his last pint of gin

and the Queen of Tarts
wants to borrow a whore
(etc)
-------------
Thanks again for playing and, again, stay tuned.

Stairway to You-Know-Where

I know I'm really late to this, but I just saw the documentary Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, which is pretty compelling and entertaining, I have to admit, and you should see it whether or not you're a fan of Metallica. (Guess what? I'm not.)

You may know that the film shows the band recording a particularly forced and uninspired album, while utilizing the services of a shrink to help them work through all their fighting, bickering and tantrums. It's good stuff.

Here's the thing I wanted to mention: There's this guy named Dave Mustaine (Who, I leaned from the movie, is in this other successful band called Megadeth) and I guess he was a guitar player in Metallica, but they allegedly unceremoniously kicked him out like 20 years ago because he was an alcoholic or something.

So there's one scene where he comes to a session with the band and their shrink, and he bitterly confronts them about throwing him out of the band without having given him a chance to clean up his act. He tells them that he's widely ridiculed for this, and he says that people routinely yell, "Metallica," at him on the street to demean him. He says this really gets to him and it's apparent that it really does.

But what I was thinking, is that the people who yell, "Metallica," have no idea who he is or that he was ever actually IN Metallica. I think they're just assholes who are yelling, "Metallica," at him simply because he has long hair, and he's merely one of the millions of long-haired men who have "Metallica," routinely yelled at them by assholes.

I hope someone will suggest this to that poor Dave Mustaine fellow at some point so that he can have some peace.

Birthday Yer Blues

Sunday's my birthday. July 23rd.

I'm a Leo. I'm very creative, I have questionable leadership qualities and I'm prone to brooding.

Oh. I brood.

Likes: Cuddling, snuggling and nuzzling. Dislikes: Cantaloupe, ill-fitting socks and people who lie about me behind my back. -Bummer!

Did I mention the brooding thing? -I'm a brooder!

I Attended the Orange County Fair

My Birthday is on July 23

Every year, I get really bummed out about my birthday. You can probably relate. I don't need to go into the reasons because I'm sure you have the same ones, and if you don't, you'll never understand.

I also find it really embarrassing and distasteful when people do this big look-at-me-hooray-it's-my-birthday-look-at-me thing, but I have a problem where I ignore the birthday and I don't tell anyone or think about it, and then it sneaks up on me and it's a shock.

This year, I decided that I'd try something completely different by making a really big deal about the birthday well in advance, which is the opposite of what I normally do. The problem is that I unconsciously did what I always do and I forgot about it until now. The birthday is on July 23, which is nine days away, so it's a little late to start planning a big party or something, but it's not too late for me to make a big deal about it and then get really depressed when nobody remembers.

Yes, I know that some people have called to wish me a happy birthday before and been met with a less-than-enthusiastic response from me, and that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it, but it does mean that you'll probably never understand.

Contest Song - Part 1

We ran a little contest here a few months back where alert readers of The Gold State Remarks page submitted lyrics for me to put to music. The whole thing was inspired by something similar or "identical" that Geritopia did over at Bloggy Blog. You can read about it here on my old blog. (I'm trying to avoid the word "blog" in general, but you wouldn't know it to read this post, would you?)

Thanks to everyone who submitted stuff, because certainly, you didn't have to, and sorry it took so long, but I'm finally getting around to recording the thing. It's eventually going to be a medley with five or six different parts, but I'm posting only the first part right now, I guess, as a "teaser" of sorts.

This part contains words submitted by Cocovan and Geritopia with just a few supplemental words thrown in by me. It's a really rough mix, obviously, but I think it's appropriate for a teaser of sorts.

Click HERE to listen to Part 1 of the medley, "Easy Breezy Japanesey."
---

"Easy Breezy Japanesey"

Easy Breezy Japanesey
You've got the way to set yourself free
Easy Breezy Japanesey
You've got the way to set yourself free

Easy Breezy Japanesey
Greaseneck monkeys all in a row
Easy Breezy Japanesey
Like snowbanks on your worried furrow

Easy Breezy Japanesey
Feed the people watching TV
Easy Breezy Japanesey
They need help, on that we agree

----
Thanks for playing, and more soon.

Good Night and Good Vibrations

"I ain't a-scared o' no firey-works!" -Staff Photo

Why is it that you can never buy the right amount of crackers? You never end the evening by saying something like, "Wow, look; one cracker left." It's always, "Jesus, look at all these fucking crackers."

(With apologies to every comedian ever.)