Deadly Nightingales

So there's a new Adam Sandler movie called "Click," which is about a man with a magic remote control. Is this the most retarded idea for a movie ever? I'm thinking it just might be.

There's something about the billboard with the bloated, misshapen remote control and Adam Sandler's smug, smirking face that yells to me, "Dude. You are gonna LOVE this." If you're like me, your imagination instantly starts running wild with all the scenarios in which it would be so awesome to have a remote control.

Then to further goad your fertile imagination (as if you needed it) there's the supplemental billboards that show:

1. A screaming baby with a giant "MUTE" button.
2. A man viewed from behind wearing a Speedo with a giant "FAST-FORWARD" button.
3. A close up of a woman's cleavage with a giant "SLO-MO" button.

Get it? Because everybody hates screaming babies and men's asses, but everybody LOVES boobs! Right everybody? Because when you see boobs, you wanna slooow down and take a real goood look! But when you hear a little brat screaming its head off, you wanna shut that kid up, right?! Shut the kid up and get rid of that man's ass! Ugh!

Hey! This gives me an awesome idea! If I could just invent a product that would help people enjoy things they liked, while helping them avoid things they hate, I'd really be onto something! Because good=good and bad=bad! It's so simple, I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

I just realized it's never going to work. Too many people hate good things and vice versa.

That movie's going to flop, too. Big time.