At the risk of sounding too Andy Rooney-esque, I'd like to call attention to the people who lick their fingers and apply saliva to them in order to turn pages or shuffle paper.
At the risk of sounding too Seinfeld-esque, who are these people?
How did this practice ever become socially acceptable? It's kind of disgusting, don't you think? I can't even imagine doing it. I tried to do it just now, but I only got as far as licking my fingertips and reaching for the page. I couldn't actually bring myself to wipe my saliva on it. Why? Because it's fucking gross. How does this ever become second nature for people? How many times must you do it before it becomes automatic? Why must you subject the rest of us to your frothy whims?
I assume people who do it claim to do so because it prevents pages from sticking together. Maybe that's true, and maybe it isn't, but I'm sure there are other bodily fluids that would work even better than spit to help separate pages, and eventually, one would reach the point of diminishing returns.
Like, "Yes, I'm turning pages really fast, but now there's the problem with all the flies."
Monday, April 10, 2006
Baby Binaca
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4 comments:
I lick my fingers before I type on this here keyboard, I don't know why, I just do it.....
I nevr unnrstood that pracktice neithr. Cause ... I mean .. once I put my fingrs in my mouf, I aint realy inclind t pull em out.
and there's that weird prophylactic condom thing that goes on your finger tip as an alternative to the finger licking practise. but it doesn't feel as intimate with the page.
sometimes licking your finger, applying some moisture, is the only way to get an otherwise "stuck" page to turn...there, i said it. what's even more strange to me is the couple of basketball players who lick their fingers before a free-throw...GROSS...court-dirt/sweat/detritus, et al. yecch.
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