Here she is, the second installation documenting (possibly) the largest woodcut ever executed on the west coast of any country.

I didn't post part one here, because it's just not as great, and plus, I'm over part one; It's all about part two!

Thanks, Carlos, for running the camera (into the ground).

S-A-T-U-R...D-A-Y...Night!

Make music, make friends at the Echo Curio this Saturday with my favorite bands, CMG & We Are The Night and The Black Heartthrobs. I'll also have some prints hanging on the wall, because they graciously invited me to participate.

Should be fun. (But then again, everything should be fun. -Hey, why don't we let the fun of this event make up for some of the other un-fun stuff we've been going through lately? OK, great, let's do that. It's a deal!)

Be On and Off

Artist and my good pal Camilla Taylor invited me to make a page for a 2010 calendar featuring actual prints made by actual printmakers. I think it came out pretty well; I was trying to be ambitious. It's a woodcut with fake wood grain screenprinted over it along with two more screenprinted colors (that's 4 colors, folks!). The three different color variations are shown above, making this series a "Variable edition."

In most cases (probably), each print in a series is supposed to be identical, but if the artist decides to make them slightly different, let's say by the use of several different colors, he or she must then add the notation "E.V." in pencil on each print, which stands for "Edition Variable," which makes no sense really. When speaking, nobody says, "Edition variable;" we say, "Variable edition," as in, "This series is going to be a variable edition." What I'm saying is that I think we should write "V.E." instead of "E.V."

Go figure.

So What

I don't even know why; the resemblance just struck me when I saw the Neil Diamond one. I guess this is probably a really common pose for album covers (at the mic, holding a guitar, duh), but you don't often see them with this super high contrast black and white treatment. -Or DO you? Let me know if anyone knows of other ones.

Yeah, I know. So what, huh?

DC Rider

Hey, I went to Washington DC last week or something. Here are some pictures for you to like or be indifferent towards. If you're an ex-girlfriend, you can be reminded of why you broke up with me in the first place.

For realsies, though, I saw some amazing art and artifacts and stuff. All the museums are free, free, free. I had no idea. Now you know, and you're welcome.

A grey squirrel at the Jefferson Memorial.

It's too bad Jefferson is dead. He would probably think this memorial is pretty neat, but he'd probably be embarrassed by it too. I mean, you'd have to be the most egotistical creep to be completely down with the idea of a giant Greek temple with a 20-foot statue of you in it as a memorial to you.

Yes, it's the Washington Monument, and I'm sorry but this thing got me totally geeked out. It's massive and it looks different in person than in the pics you've seen. See how the bottom third is a different color than the rest? That's because it sat unfinished for 20-some-odd years back in the 1800s. Didn't know that, did you?

Here's a bit of the mosaic floor in the lobby of the WaMo. I wanted to lick it.

Here's way up at the tipperty-top of that ol' WaMo. That red light thingy is the beacon that blinks so planes don't accidentally hit it. If a plane hit it, I would cry because I'm strangely fixated on it now. Did you know that it was the tallest goddamn structure on the whole planet for a few years? No, you did not. The Eiffel Tower beat it in 1889, by almost double the hight. Ouch!

And check out these goddamn train stations. Whoo-whoo! These were the cleanest train stations I've ever been in anywhere in the world. No bodily discharges of any kind, which makes me think that everyone is constantly under surveillance and any funny business is swiftly quashed (or diapers are distributed).

Nobody seemed to mind me giving a quick speech at an ampitheater at Arlington Nat'l Cemetery, for some reason. I expected to be tackled at any moment.

This is at the Lincoln memorial, which is on our penny. Don't try to take a picture of yourself, mimicking Lincoln's facial expression and the direction of his gaze because it won't work. Trust me.

A shot of Abe's square-toed boot. I want a pair.

This here's the Capitol rotunda. That's the giant building you see behind the "reporters" on infomercials when they're reporting live from the nation's capitol.


Ah! Back in LA, where it was the exact same (warm) goddamn temperature as DC. I was excited to be in this tiled corridor. I haven't been routed through here in years, and I vividly remember it from my childhood. You know, it's the airport, so you can't just go traipsing through whatever tiled corridor you feel like traipsing through.

The end. (-Or IS it? Probably.)

New U-Lane Comic

Ta-dah! There's a new Underwear Lane comic over there on Underwear Lane.

Unlike the last one (which had been sitting in a drawer for months before being discovered, scanned and uploaded), this one is fresh as a day lily.

Also, don't worry; this one contains the f-word. -Does it ever!

A New Underwear Lane Comic Is Up

It's true.

New Song Just For You

Maybe you know, maybe you don't: I do this music thing, and a new record is in the works. I thought I'd upload a new song from the new record so all the children of the world can laugh and play again. This one's called "the golden ache" check it out right this second.

David of Novi Split played drums and much of the guitar on this track(he played the intricate guitar parts; I played the easy stuff), and his input made it into something way better than it would have otherwise been. He's easily the most gifted musician I know, and no one who knows him would even bat an eye at that statement. He also keeps a fine blog here, on which he wrote some really nice things about me a few days ago. For the moment, I'm withholding too much glowing commentary about him, so as not to seem like I'm merely trying to reciprocate, but watch out.

Do watch out.

More Things That Will Never Happen

I'd found some faux marble masonite panels a few weeks ago, and Danelectro guitars were made from finished masonite, so I had the idea that I should make a guitar. Of course, you and I both know there's no way in hell that's ever going to happen.

I was experimenting with body shape designs, and I basically just stole images of guitars I liked from the internet and substituted a picture of my faux marble panel for the guitar's actual finish. That's as far as this project is likely to get. Here are some really rough mock ups:

Gibson "Non-Reverse" Firebird

Gretsch Duo Jet

This was a Danelectro


This was a real Danelectro or a Coral

Whether or not it's a good idea for me to build a guitar is pretty much irrelevant; It'll never ever happen in a millon years anyway.

THE END

fudgicle bike

Here's the latest print in progress. I'm sure I'm going to like it better at this stage than when it's finished.

Pisces

So you know all this "Torture Memo" business? I keep hearing right-wing Bush/Cheney apologists saying things like, "Now, now, we can't go prosecuting the lawyers and other people who came up with these bad ideas because then people won't feel free to give advice in the future." This strikes me as really stupid.

My question is: Why is that a bad thing? Wouldn't it actually be a good thing if people gave advice that's thoughtful and useful instead of advice that's reckless and crappy? Why would anyone want to ensure that bad advice-givers continue to have influence? Wouldn't it have been a good thing if these crappy advice-givers had been aware that their terrible ideas could get them into trouble? Isn't deterrence one of the reasons we have laws in the first place?

THE END

What Else Does The Box Say?

The box says, "Shut up, Steve," but of course you knew that. If you're like me, you've been weirdly fixated on this Multi-Grain Cheerios commercial (the one with the bullying woman and her hyper-accommodating husband). For weeks now, I've found myself responding to peoples' earnest questions by desperately pleading, "Nonononono! It's just the box!"



Imagine if you will my astonishment when I learned that Steve and the missus are actually British. I'll give you a second to let that sink in.

That's right, they're actually British, with British accents. The American-accented voices we've been hearing have been dubbed over a British commercial. They've even computer-CGIed a different box over the original euro one! I was only able to find this small sample of the original British commi, but it's more than enough to cause cognitive dissonance-related permanent brain or spinal cord injury.



Remember folks, you heard it here.

Captain Jack Sparrow in a Punchbowl

I went to Disneyland yesterday, and I'm here to vent about how crappy the updates to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride are. Jesus, sweet merciful Jesus.

Apparently, based on the success of "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie(s), they decided to add the Captain Jack Sparrow character references and appearances to the ride. I've never seen the movie(s), and I don't usually care about movies based on rides (although I am anxiously awaiting the Teacups move starring DeNiro and Pacino as the handle and spout, respectively). I can't understand why they'd ever feel the need to change anything about the ride, because it was perfect in every way, but the way they did it was just really clumsy and lame.

I should admit that I'm a bit of a Disneyland reactionary; I'm always dismayed to find they've demolished an attraction that I really liked. I understand that they're trying to make more money and blah, blah, blah, but if they have to do something like this, I'd just expect them to do a better job because this is Disney for chrissake.

Basically, what happened is this: Some of the existing pirates' dialogue has been sprinkled with the words "Captian Jack Sparrow," and there are several animatronic Johnny Depps inserted throughout the ride. The reason it sucks is because the new stuff is so incongruous with what was already there. The Johnny Depps are wearing completely different costuming than all the other pirates; he's dressed like the movie character with his little braids and ribbons or whatever. Even worse, his features are realistic, which looks really dumb and somewhat creepy compared to the cartoony original pirates. It all has this really "shoved in there" feel.

Yeah, but I still had fun. The end. Maybe I'll say something nice later.