Naval

So the other day, I parked my car on the street in front of the building in which I reside, and as I'm unloading stuff, my next-door neighbor lumbers toward me. We haven't actually been formally introduced; but I recognized him, and I was all smiles and, "Hi," expecting him to say something like, "Say, you didn't happen to notice any..." or, "By any chance do you have a..." or better still, "Would you like a box full of..."

But no.

He says, "You know, you can only park here for 72 hours."

I responded, "What?"

"You can only park on the street for 72 hours. They'll chalk your tire and tow you away."

"Um, I live here," I said, kind of annoyed, gesturing toward the nearest building. "That's why I park here."

After a pause he said, "Well, you can only park on the street for 72 hours."

"OK, great, thanks," I retorted in the most dismissive possible way as I turned my back on him and reached into the car for another box. When I surfaced, he was still standing there.

He continued, "There was that time when you were parked in that spot for two weeks." He gestured toward a spot in which sat his giant stretch truck/SUV/whatever-the-crap with the Jesus fish stuck right next to the Anaheim Angels' haloed "A." It was pretty obvious to me that he wanted exclusive rights to park in this prized spot, which was right in front of his house, and right next to his driveway.

I gave my best are-you-really-wasting-my-time-with-this-crap look, and said, "Two weeks? I don't really know what you're talking about, but since I live right here it only makes sense that I'd park here." I have this problem where, when someone's being an ass, I'm almost invariably way too nice about it, and I was trying not to fall into the too-nice trap, but I may have done it anyway because deep down, I'm a pushover. -And a bit of a fraidy-cat.

Then he says, "OK, you know, I was just wondering whose car it was," and I just continued unloading my car and didn't say anything and finally he left.

You know, I just don't like being strong-armed by anyone, especially a lumbering dumbass with a Jesus fish and a haloed "A" on his giant vehicle.

So I decided that he'll never park in his prized spot again. Here's what I'm doing: I get home before him in the evenings. I'm parking in his prized spot for three days, THEN I'm moving the car one spot back for the next three days , BUT I'm only leaving enough room in front for a normal-sized car, NOT his giant truck thing. If he tried to park there, he'd block his own driveway. And get towed.

So three days in the one spot, three days in the other. Rinse and repeat. It's been going on for two weeks now. I usually drive my other car anyway.

Eff with ME, mother effer?

I don't give an eff.

Nickels and Apricots

In keeping with the concept of time, which allegedly marches on, I've updated the official The Gold State website, and more changes are soon to come.

OK, let's not get too excited, people.

Tank Top Memories

Is Jesus appearing to the truck on the beach, or is this a depiction of the fact that the truck is in Jesus' crew? Maybe the truck is daydreaming about being on the beach with the bloody corpse of Christ.

We may never know the true meaning of this work, and I have a feeling that it's probably for the best.

Corkscrew

Here's another picture I took with 35mm film in my 120 Holga. Feel free to view more examples here.

You can thank me later.

Lift, Lorry

I went to Averill Park and took some pics with 35mm film in my Holga camera. Here is a length of it (the film). (See if you can spot the waterfall.)

Life is worth living again.

Jesus Ritter

This nearly completes my collection. If anyone has the Suzanne Somers Mary Magdalene or the Don Knotts John The Baptist, please contact me.

New Underwear Lane Comic

Hey, here's a brand new Underwear Lane comic that I hereby urge you to enjoy.

Hey, don't look at me; I don't write this crap (Well, actually, I do, but only in the most literal possible sense).

Maverick Espresso

How often do you see John Gary records in thrift stores?

A lot, actually. But how often do you see two copies of "The One and Only John Gary" side by side?

Probably a lot, actually, now that I think about it.

We Made It Back in One Piece, But That's Bad, Because We Left in Two Pieces

I sit here in utter amazement.

I just used Super Glue to fix something, and the two surfaces I was trying to bond actually bonded and the thing is totally fixed.

This is a first. I think the secret to making it work is who the crap knows.

San Pedro Science Center - Closing?

These and lots of other animals live at the San Pedro Science Center, which is in very real danger of losing funding and being closed down, as I just found out. We used to have field trips there when I was a kid, and I watched chicks hatching in an incubator, among other amazing things. I can unreservedly say the Science Center helped nurture my love for animals.

Here's some contact info for local government folks that you can write to if you'd like to try to help save the Science Center. It could close in July, which is next month!

Councilwoman Janice Hahn:
councilmember.hahn@lacity.org

LAUSD board member Mike Lansing:
mike.lansing@lausd.net

Chief Instructional Officer Bob Collins:
Not sure, but probably bob.collins@lausd.net or robert.collins@lausd.net

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa:
Mayor@lacity.org

Click on the pic to see more of my photos of the Science Center on flickr.

New Underwear Lane Comic

There's a brand new Underwear Lane comic posted, and it's a real winner. This one doesn't contain any cursing, though.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Give the Gift that Keeps

Thanks, Brite Spot Mexican Restaurant on 7th and Pacific in San Pedro, California!

Sittin' On the Ritz

I was waiting in line for coffee at the coffee place this morning, and way ahead of me at the counter was a girl wearing a really great skirt.

I thought, "That is such a great skirt."

Then I started thinking that I wanted to tell her what a great skirt that was, and I began to debate the potential creepiness of a comment to a strange girl about the greatness of her skirt. Eventually, it was my turn to order coffee and I forgot about the skirt.

As I was creaming and sugaring my coffee, the girl with the great skirt appeared next to me, creaming and sugaring her coffee. Without even thinking, I said, "That is such a great skirt, I wish I could pull it off."

Of course, what I meant to do in that split second that the words were coming out of my mouth was to nullify the potential creepiness/aggressiveness of my comment with a joke about how I wanted to wear the skirt, thereby feminizing and dorkifying myself so as to seem less threatening.

That's what I meant to do, but it sounded like a cheap pickup line about how I wanted to take her clothes off.

Amazingly, she started laughing right away, even before I said, "Oh, wow, I did NOT mean it like that, I can't believe what I just said," and she started joking about how the skirt comes in many different sizes, and she was sure I could kind one to fit me, however, now that she thinks about it, she did buy the skirt in Sri Lanka, and so the price of a plane ticket might make the skirt prohibitively expensive.

Then we bantered for a while longer in an amazingly effortless and enjoyable exchange.

And I'll never ever see her again.

THE END

Ye Olde La Grande Jatte

I found another new old Polaroid camera called a ProPack at the magic thrift store the other day. It takes pack film, which is the kind you have to manually pull out of the camera, time, and peel.

I still can't quite get the hang of the exposure and focus settings, and although this picture isn't technically "good," I like it anyway, so I'm sharing.

And caring.

Drugstore Cattle Rustler

This is my new Optigan, the OPTIcal orGAN. On it, one can play raucous, house-bringing-down numbers, as well as tender ballads. Here, you can see a tender ballad being played.

Your Own Private Benjamin

This is my new Optigan, the OPTIcal orGAN. On it, one can play raucous, house-bringing-down numbers, as well as tender ballads. Here, you can see a raucous, house-bringing-down number being played.

The Gold State @ Long Beach State

This was taken at the 2007 Kaleidoscope Festival at Long Beach State University, where we were having quite the time, despite how it looks. My mom took these pics.

Let's Put On A Show!

The Gold State is playing this weekend at 2:00 on Saturday, April 28, 2007 at the Kaleidoscope Festival at Cal State Long Beach. It's an outdoor festival thing that the university puts on every year which apparently attracts 30,000 visitors. Exactly 30,000. One year, they realized they had undercounted and they had to kick someone out. Oddly enough, except for that one screw-up, there have never been any more or less than 30,000 visitors.

Not that there haven't been deliberate attempts to thwart the official count by pranksters using false moustaches and bad espadrilles.

(I probably should have said, "And/or bad espadrilles.")

The stage will be just west of the Vivian Engineering Building on the easternmost side of the campus. Our best friend band, The Black Heartthrobs, will also be playing just after us, at 3:00.

Parking is free, and admission is free. There'll be lots of food and all kinds of things to do, maybe even things you'll enjoy.

The Gold State - 2:00
The Black Heartthrobs - 3:00
2007 Kaleidoscope Festival
California State University, Long Beach
1250 Bellflower Boulevard
Long Beach, CA 90840
Free parking & free admission
(Click for Directions)

Dog & Camera Show

I really hate to anthropomorphize Stu by implying that there was any kind of human-ish motivation behind his decision to pose next to the Polaroid SX-70 Model 2, so I won't.

Thrift Store: Stuffed Eiffel Tower

...for when you've outgrown your stuffed Hoover Dam.