Jesus Ritter

This nearly completes my collection. If anyone has the Suzanne Somers Mary Magdalene or the Don Knotts John The Baptist, please contact me.

New Underwear Lane Comic

Hey, here's a brand new Underwear Lane comic that I hereby urge you to enjoy.

Hey, don't look at me; I don't write this crap (Well, actually, I do, but only in the most literal possible sense).

Maverick Espresso

How often do you see John Gary records in thrift stores?

A lot, actually. But how often do you see two copies of "The One and Only John Gary" side by side?

Probably a lot, actually, now that I think about it.

We Made It Back in One Piece, But That's Bad, Because We Left in Two Pieces

I sit here in utter amazement.

I just used Super Glue to fix something, and the two surfaces I was trying to bond actually bonded and the thing is totally fixed.

This is a first. I think the secret to making it work is who the crap knows.

San Pedro Science Center - Closing?

These and lots of other animals live at the San Pedro Science Center, which is in very real danger of losing funding and being closed down, as I just found out. We used to have field trips there when I was a kid, and I watched chicks hatching in an incubator, among other amazing things. I can unreservedly say the Science Center helped nurture my love for animals.

Here's some contact info for local government folks that you can write to if you'd like to try to help save the Science Center. It could close in July, which is next month!

Councilwoman Janice Hahn:
councilmember.hahn@lacity.org

LAUSD board member Mike Lansing:
mike.lansing@lausd.net

Chief Instructional Officer Bob Collins:
Not sure, but probably bob.collins@lausd.net or robert.collins@lausd.net

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa:
Mayor@lacity.org

Click on the pic to see more of my photos of the Science Center on flickr.

New Underwear Lane Comic

There's a brand new Underwear Lane comic posted, and it's a real winner. This one doesn't contain any cursing, though.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Give the Gift that Keeps

Thanks, Brite Spot Mexican Restaurant on 7th and Pacific in San Pedro, California!

Sittin' On the Ritz

I was waiting in line for coffee at the coffee place this morning, and way ahead of me at the counter was a girl wearing a really great skirt.

I thought, "That is such a great skirt."

Then I started thinking that I wanted to tell her what a great skirt that was, and I began to debate the potential creepiness of a comment to a strange girl about the greatness of her skirt. Eventually, it was my turn to order coffee and I forgot about the skirt.

As I was creaming and sugaring my coffee, the girl with the great skirt appeared next to me, creaming and sugaring her coffee. Without even thinking, I said, "That is such a great skirt, I wish I could pull it off."

Of course, what I meant to do in that split second that the words were coming out of my mouth was to nullify the potential creepiness/aggressiveness of my comment with a joke about how I wanted to wear the skirt, thereby feminizing and dorkifying myself so as to seem less threatening.

That's what I meant to do, but it sounded like a cheap pickup line about how I wanted to take her clothes off.

Amazingly, she started laughing right away, even before I said, "Oh, wow, I did NOT mean it like that, I can't believe what I just said," and she started joking about how the skirt comes in many different sizes, and she was sure I could kind one to fit me, however, now that she thinks about it, she did buy the skirt in Sri Lanka, and so the price of a plane ticket might make the skirt prohibitively expensive.

Then we bantered for a while longer in an amazingly effortless and enjoyable exchange.

And I'll never ever see her again.

THE END

Ye Olde La Grande Jatte

I found another new old Polaroid camera called a ProPack at the magic thrift store the other day. It takes pack film, which is the kind you have to manually pull out of the camera, time, and peel.

I still can't quite get the hang of the exposure and focus settings, and although this picture isn't technically "good," I like it anyway, so I'm sharing.

And caring.

Drugstore Cattle Rustler

This is my new Optigan, the OPTIcal orGAN. On it, one can play raucous, house-bringing-down numbers, as well as tender ballads. Here, you can see a tender ballad being played.

Your Own Private Benjamin

This is my new Optigan, the OPTIcal orGAN. On it, one can play raucous, house-bringing-down numbers, as well as tender ballads. Here, you can see a raucous, house-bringing-down number being played.

The Gold State @ Long Beach State

This was taken at the 2007 Kaleidoscope Festival at Long Beach State University, where we were having quite the time, despite how it looks. My mom took these pics.

Let's Put On A Show!

The Gold State is playing this weekend at 2:00 on Saturday, April 28, 2007 at the Kaleidoscope Festival at Cal State Long Beach. It's an outdoor festival thing that the university puts on every year which apparently attracts 30,000 visitors. Exactly 30,000. One year, they realized they had undercounted and they had to kick someone out. Oddly enough, except for that one screw-up, there have never been any more or less than 30,000 visitors.

Not that there haven't been deliberate attempts to thwart the official count by pranksters using false moustaches and bad espadrilles.

(I probably should have said, "And/or bad espadrilles.")

The stage will be just west of the Vivian Engineering Building on the easternmost side of the campus. Our best friend band, The Black Heartthrobs, will also be playing just after us, at 3:00.

Parking is free, and admission is free. There'll be lots of food and all kinds of things to do, maybe even things you'll enjoy.

The Gold State - 2:00
The Black Heartthrobs - 3:00
2007 Kaleidoscope Festival
California State University, Long Beach
1250 Bellflower Boulevard
Long Beach, CA 90840
Free parking & free admission
(Click for Directions)

Dog & Camera Show

I really hate to anthropomorphize Stu by implying that there was any kind of human-ish motivation behind his decision to pose next to the Polaroid SX-70 Model 2, so I won't.

Thrift Store: Stuffed Eiffel Tower

...for when you've outgrown your stuffed Hoover Dam.

LONG LIVE SOCIALIST DEMOCRACY!

Today I bought a new/old Polaroid Spectra camera. It was the top-o'-th'-line back in the 80s.

My li'l sis took this one of me in mom's bathroom. I really like how the Spectra automatically does "vignetting," or darkening at the edges of the picture.

I didn't alter this photo in Photoshop or anything. Swear to "god."

New Underwear Lane Comic

There's a new one, all right.

Raisinette in the Sun

Jesus must be rolling over in his grave.

Caption, anyone?

I Now Have A Camera Phone

Tonight, I turned down two offers to go to really fun-sounding parties so I could help my ex-girlfriend move furniture and assemble a really heavy bookcase.

That's how I roll.

I know it kind of ruins the story, but afterwards she bought me dinner at my favorite Cuban restaurant, Versailles (see above camera photo).

One of Cardinal Richelieu's Most Unscrupulous Agents

I was at a party last night and some of the guests were in another room, playing with a Ouija board that someone had made a using a piece of cardboard and a shotglass. I don't believe in ghosts at all, and I've never played with a Ouija board before.

At one point in the evening, a few of us went into the bedroom to play with the board. At first, a girl and I both had our fingers on the glass and nothing happened. I think it was because whenever I felt the glass start to move a little, I knew it wasn't me, so I'd say, "You're moving it," and she'd deny it, but it would stop moving. She's a good friend, so I guess I felt comfortable openly accusing her of cheating.

A bit later, though, I tried it with a guy I 'd never met before, and a girl that I don't really know that well, and when the glass started moving, it wasn't obvious who was doing it. I know it wasn't me, though.

The girl was obviously well acquainted with spirit world etiquette, and she was asking "it" questions, but the glass just spelled out gibberish. She very sympathetically asked, "Are you confused?" At that point, "it" started spelling out, "F-U, F-U, F-U," repeatedly. Then she asked, "Do you want us to leave you alone," and the glass shot over to the "Goodbye" word.

I totally think all that stuff's bullshit, but I fully got the proverbial willies! The girl played it off so well, as if she really thought she was talking to a "ghost." I realized then that part of the reason the Ouija board "works" is because the participants unconciously cooperate, so as not to spoil the fun for everyone else.

That's my theory anyway. Pretty smart, huh?

Immediately afterward, in the next room, I was talking to a guy who had watched the "seance" thing, and he was telling me about how he's convinced his house is haunted. I very respectfully made it really clear that I don't believe in "ghosts" or whatever and I asked him to describe what kinds of stuff happened at his house. He cited instances of finding a door unlocked when he knew he had locked it.

I said, "A skeptic would say that you just forgot to lock the door."

He said, "But I always lock that door. I lock it every single day."

As an example, I said, "Well, sometimes, you'll be walking around and you'll notice that your zipper is down, right? But you'd swear you didn't leave it down. We go to the bathroom several times a day, and it seems like it'd be automatic for us to zip up every time, but sometimes we just forget."

With that, I looked down and my fly was open.

Swear to "god."