Wednesday, August 30, 2006

CLAMBAKE!

Saturday (September 2nd), we're having a "beach party" thing where we and a few friends' bands will play. It'll be fun. You better go. Here are some details:

CLAMBAKE!

Have you gotten the most out of summer? Neither have we! The CLAMBAKE is a guerilla-style, all-acoustic outdoor beach party/show to help us ring out the summer season. Where Imperial Highway dumps into the ocean, turn right and park on the street, OR be fancy and pay $7 to park in the lot. We'll be at the northernmost firepit that we can secure. Look for the CLAMBAKE flag, which should be visually pleasing and will have been made by some artistic type or other. Bring wood, food & drinks for burning and eating and drinking (respectively).

MAP

Lineup:
7:00 -The Gold State-
6:00 -CMG-
5:00 -The Black Heartthrobs-
& Possibly More TBA

-Goodbye cruel summer!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Station to Stanchion

From Google Maps, here's a picture of San Pedro's own Knoll Hill, taken from outer space or 30,000 feet or whatever. Who fucking cares.
From down here, the letters look slightly larger and higher. Don't patronize me.

Please feel free to send links to your own found landmarks.

Wake me when it's over.

The Bitch is Back in Black

One of my long-held assumptions has just been shattered, and my sense of well-being has been compromised. I will elaborate.

My dad taught me how to tie a necktie when I was pretty young, and non-necktie-tying friends have always come to me for help when they had weddings or job interviews. "Paul knows all the knots," they used to say (not really).

I'm reasonably proficient at two different knots, and I had always thought they were the Windsor Knot and the much simpler Half Windsor Knot. Yesterday, however, I discovered that what I THOUGHT was a Windsor Knot was actually a HALF Windsor Knot.

Yeah.

It also turns out that when I thought I was tying a Half Windsor Knot, I was actually tying a Four-in-hand Knot. Who's ever even heard of that?

Four-in-hand Knot.

This is precisely why you should never try anything ever.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Upcoming Shows

We have some upcoming shows, so I thought I'd announce two of them now. Please don't argue.

The one that's chronologically second, but more straightforward and easy-to-explain is our upcoming show at the UnUrban Cafe in Santa Monica on Saturday, September 16 at 11 PM. This place is really funky and "folksy" and California-y, and it's definitely where Chrissy from Three's Company would've played at the open mike nights if she was a singer/songwriter. This is probably the greatest compliment I could ever pay to a place.

The show that's chronologically first but slightly more difficult to explain is the CLAMBAKE on Saturday, September 2 at 2 PM. We're saying farewell to the summer season with a guerilla-style, all-acoustic beach party/show thing. Imagine a beach party where people are playing instruments, except instead of just playing classic rock sing-alongs, the people are entire bands playing their own songs (and classic rock sing-alongs). Goodbye cruel summer!

We haven't decided yet if we're going to have it at Dockweiler in Marina Del Rey or at Cabrillo Beach in San Pedro. Those are the two local beaches that have firepits. We'll let you know. We've already received confirmations from a couple of acts, and we're waiting for at least a couple more. Yes, I am a bit premature announcing this, I admit.

A "clam" is also a jazz slang term for a wrong musical note. Isn't that funny?

09/02/2006 2:00 PM - CLAMBAKE!
Venue will be determined, either Dockweiler Beach or Cabrillo Beach, CA.
FREE
Lineup:
The Gold State
CMG
The Black Heartthrobs
& More to be announced

09/16/2006 11:00 PM - UnUrban Cafe
3301 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica, CA
FREE

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Me, Myself & the Ottoman Turks

I was just thinking how mentally convenient it is for those of us in the U.S. (United States) that we can refer to our country as the US, because it's spelled the same as the word "us." This helps prevent us from having to mentally switch gears (figuratively) when we're referring to our country as opposed to other countries. For example, the phrase, "Britain and the US" is extra-easy for our brains to process because we (us) are the US. Imagine if we lived in the T.H.E.M., for example. We'd have to say that we are "the THEM." In the Olympics and in soccer, we'd root for the THEM. God bless the THEM, and we'd have clothing and other crap emblazoned with the letters T H E M.

We'd say things like, "Look, pal, that might be the way you do things over your country, but here in the THEM, we do it like this."

That would suck.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Survey

Please name your favorite berry and your favorite vampire.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Calling all Subjugate!

Yesterday my leading paramour and I ordered some alcoholic beverages at a tavern. The perky barmaid (who was at least our age, it should be noted) eyed my companion somewhat suspiciously.

"Do you have ID?"

My consort graciously fished through her purse, produced her California Driver's License and then handed it over. The server examined it closely. She then regarded my companion again, and then, somewhat incredulously, she returned to studying the license.

"Wow," she finally said, as she returned the license with a chipper smile. "You look really young."

(We are totally aware that servers will occasionally do this kind of thing to flatter patrons. Not only are we fully aware of this, but in general, we have become keenly attuned to all manner of phoniness. In other words, you cannot fool us, and she was totally not doing the thing.)

As you might expect, there were a few moments filled with aw-shucks false humility and did-she-really-mean-that, yes-she-really-did mental question/answers. The server scribbled in her pad.

I said, coyly, "If you don't ask to see my ID, I'll understand."

"M'Kay," she blurted, WAY too quickly, as she spun around and scurried off to the kitchen.

Optional Bonus Ending:

Later, at a different bar, not only did I not get "carded," but I actually ended up asking the doorperson and bartenders if I could see their IDs. That's how not-young I look. I was all, "Can I see your ID," to the staff at the bar. And they were all, "Yes."

Because I look so not-young.