Captain Jack Sparrow in a Punchbowl

I went to Disneyland yesterday, and I'm here to vent about how crappy the updates to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride are. Jesus, sweet merciful Jesus.

Apparently, based on the success of "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie(s), they decided to add the Captain Jack Sparrow character references and appearances to the ride. I've never seen the movie(s), and I don't usually care about movies based on rides (although I am anxiously awaiting the Teacups move starring DeNiro and Pacino as the handle and spout, respectively). I can't understand why they'd ever feel the need to change anything about the ride, because it was perfect in every way, but the way they did it was just really clumsy and lame.

I should admit that I'm a bit of a Disneyland reactionary; I'm always dismayed to find they've demolished an attraction that I really liked. I understand that they're trying to make more money and blah, blah, blah, but if they have to do something like this, I'd just expect them to do a better job because this is Disney for chrissake.

Basically, what happened is this: Some of the existing pirates' dialogue has been sprinkled with the words "Captian Jack Sparrow," and there are several animatronic Johnny Depps inserted throughout the ride. The reason it sucks is because the new stuff is so incongruous with what was already there. The Johnny Depps are wearing completely different costuming than all the other pirates; he's dressed like the movie character with his little braids and ribbons or whatever. Even worse, his features are realistic, which looks really dumb and somewhat creepy compared to the cartoony original pirates. It all has this really "shoved in there" feel.

Yeah, but I still had fun. The end. Maybe I'll say something nice later.